The Career Curve

By Maria Ryan

I'm not quite sure I strictly fit the bill anymore - that of an artist I mean. As of 1st June this year I have been employed by Tavaziva Dance as Company Manager.

This is a step that I had intended to take eventually but I did not think the dance manager role would happen quite so soon. I am 34 this year and as I started dancing at 18, (training for six years) have only had 10 years in the business as it were and I felt I was just beginning to understand the art of performance.

I co-founded Wild Roots Collective in 2001 and received positive feedback from audiences, venue managers and promoters. All showing interest in the work - I was even awarded some funds from Arts Council England but (and it's a huge BUT!) I need regular income to eat and clothe myself and my new and unrelenting responsibility - my daughter. Being a young, free and single person performing, teaching and workshopping all over the UK is one thing, having an extra little human bundle in tow is quite something else and I desperately want to know how so many before me have managed the freelance career and mummyhood at the same time!

It's the organising that does it - its project management in itself. So I've had to make a choice and I've settled for the easy option, I think - I've quit travelling around and work from home so I could be there for my daughter.

I have experienced a number of ups and downs as a dancer, these have made me the dancer and person I am today. I have also known others to fall apart under really stressful circumstances. Some extremely talented dancers have lost the will to dance. That is the saddest part - those who gave so much to dance have often left it behind them feeling dejected, unfulfilled and bitter.

I'm not bitter....no, yes I am!

I feel I should have achieved more as performer. I feel I can achieve so much more as a choreographer but that road is a hard and bumpy road to travel and I have come as far as I could given my circumstances.

I was afraid of starting my own company because I had worked with other choreographers, watched them struggle through projects only to have their funding cut when it seemed that what they really needed was funds to develop their work. Yet, I have learnt that we dancers are so good at complaining about what we don't get, moaning about what we should get and who is getting what we're not.

Of course the poor old Arts Council England bears the brunt of this 'the dark force' who owes us so much! It can't do right for doing wrong. Life-coaching and self-help advice is "if you want something done, do it yourself - you want change, what are you waiting for? - you are the key to your future destiny - feel the fear and do it anyway".

If I want things to change, I have to be the one to get in there and change them.

I have ideas of grandeur. In my mind that I can be the first dance manager to manager their own company and someone elses too?! No... There would be surely be a serious conflict of interest. Never the less, Wild Roots Collective excites me because I think it's quite unique in its attempt to address issues that relate specifically to the Black British community through dance and spoken word. The use of writer Rommi Smith's texts adds a layer of intensity and drama to the work, so the intention is very clear. For this reason I will strive to build on what we, Joanne Moven, Rommi Smith and myself have started.

But for now I have put Wild Roots Collective on the backburner. I fully intend to re-consider my options as a choreographer when I feel I have settled in to this management role. I'm currently experiencing a massive learning curve. I needed to challenge my brain in a different way after years of tondues and triplets. I'm embarking on a new journey, one of management courses, legal and financial seminars, meetings and conferences. I'm going back to school to do I.T. and I'm doing it to make a difference; to facilitate change and encourage the people I work with to be the best they can be.

I feel strongly that I if I excel in this role I can enable dancers to enjoy their dance experience - making their lives a little easier and their dance path a
little smoother.

As an advocate for ADAD I hope that the dance community can forge new pathways to both honour the past and create a glorious future for black dance. As a teacher I want to pass on all the knowledge that has been passed on to me, as a choreographer I want to question all the rules and make the audience think, feel, smell, touch and taste the dance, as a manager I want to assist in making someone else's dream happen, to do it successfully and efficiently AND get paid well!

I may have shed a negative light on my dance experience. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret a single moment. I loved being in ballet class at 8.45am every day for three years, I adore the wonderful people I have met along the way, travelling around the world, the excitement and adrenalin rush in the wings before a show, I totally miss Graham technique classes, I even long for that deep muscular pain on return to work from a short break from dancing!

I have different priorities now, my responsibilities are no longer just to myself so the choices I have made reflect this. It's very clear that you and your needs come second to your children's. My slightly larger human bundle now goes to nursery and to a childminder four days a week and I am able to discuss current affairs again instead complaining about the price of nappies and debating whether breast is better than bottle.

During my career so far, I have been a performer, a teacher, a creative workshop leader, an education officer, a project manager, an advocate for black contemporary dance artists, now I am all of the above plus a company manager. These certainly are challenging times... bring it on!

I have learnt there is nothing I cannot be taught and nothing I cannot achieve.

As for the new generation of successful black dance managers - watch this space!

Maria trained at the London School of Contemporary Dance and danced with Bunty Matthias, Yael Flexer, Henri Oguike, Jonzi D and Phoenix Dance Company. In 2001 she choreographed Raw Material for Nubian Steps and co-choreographed 'It's the Way' for Wild Roots Collective (with Joanne Moven) in The Mission 2001 tour.

Maria has a Diploma in Arts Management (from the Roehampton University) and spent two years as Dance Education & Access Officer at Swindon Dance. She is now a freelance dance artist and is co-director of Wild Roots Collective.